Marriage with ‘ex-enemy nationals’ (continued - part 4) – Ralph Peck and Ursula Ottow

6 April 2020

Who was the first serving British soldier or civilian member of the Control Commission to marry a German woman after the end of the Second World War? I first asked this question in May 2009 in a post on this blog on Marriage with ‘ex-enemy nationals’, with two updates, on May 2013 and August 2016.

I have continued to research the subject over the past few years, and this post tells the story of Ralph Peck and his German bride, Ursula Ottow, who were married in the St Johannes church in Brunswick on 20 August 1946, earlier than any of the couples I have written about previously, or whose sons or daughters have added comments to earlier posts.

But Ralph and Ursula married without permission from the British authorities, and they did not realise that their church ceremony was not valid in German law, according to which church marriages must be confirmed in a civil registry office (Standesamt) before they are legally valid.

They were eventually officially married in the Standesamt in Goslar on 21 May 1947, nine months after their church wedding on 20 August 1946.

An extraordinary collection of documents preserved by Ralph’s son, Clive, which he has now donated to the Imperial War Museum, shows that even after the British government announced, on 31 July 1946, that the marriage ban with ‘ex-enemy nationals’ would be relaxed, it was still enormously difficult, time-consuming and stressful for a couple who wished to marry to understand the regulations, obtain all the necessary documents and finally receive permission to marry, in full accordance with British and German law.  

Ralph first met his future wife, Ursula, soon after the end of the war, and they decided to marry in December 1945, when British men serving in the armed forces or Control Commission for Germany (CCG) were still forbidden to marry ‘ex-enemy nationals’.

Ralph was born on 5 November 1919 and served during the war in the Royal Corps of Signals. According to his Soldier’s Service Book, he enlisted on 8 July 1940 and was employed as a clerk. He was promoted sergeant, awarded the Africa Star, was entitled to the Defence Medal, and served overseas, mainly in the Middle East, for a total of 5 years and 14 days. At the end of the war in Europe, in May 1945, he was in Germany, stationed in Brunswick, in the British zone of occupation.

Ursula was born on 15 April 1929 in Flatow in West Prussia, now Zlotow in Poland. Like many other Germans, she had fled westwards with her family ahead of the advancing Soviet troops.

The documents do not reveal when or how they met, but Ursula told her son Clive that it was soon after the end of the war, at a dance hall, and Ralph asked her to marry him the first time they met. She was only 16 years old at the time.

On 2 January 1946, Ralph wrote a letter, in German, to Ursula’s parents, asking for their consent to the marriage. Ursula’s parents now lived in Oschersleben, not far from Brunswick, where Ralph was stationed – but Oschersleben was in the Russian Zone of occupation. Travel between the Russian and British zones was difficult and required special permission, so they could not meet face to face. Ralph wrote that he hoped to meet them soon. As he was due to be demobilised and return to Britain in April and as he loved their daughter, he asked for their permission to marry and take Ursula with him to England. He added that he and Ursula would return to visit her parents every year, and would spend the next Christmas with them in Germany.

Ursula’s father, Alwin Ottow, replied to Ralph on 22 January 1946. He wrote that he and his wife were glad to hear that their daughter Ursula had met someone willing to make her his wife and this would, he added, help create a bridge of friendship between the British and German peoples. He welcomed the news and had no objections, but felt he had to express some concerns. Ursula was very young and inexperienced. She would be only 17 years old in April. She had no job, had not trained for any career, and had no possessions apart from the clothes she was dressed in. He also questioned how she would cope with leaving home and living in a strange and unfamiliar country. But, he added, the decision was theirs alone. At the end of the letter he asked for the wedding to take place in Germany, rather than in England, so that he and his wife could be present.

The couple announced their engagement on 5 February 1946.

On 18 March 1946, Ralph applied to the army authorities for permission to marry. He received a reply on 23 March 1946 refusing his request on the grounds that army regulations did not allow marriage with German women who had lived in Germany during the war.

Refused permission to marry by the army, Ralph thought that he could still marry Ursula after he was demobilised, if he returned to Germany as a civilian. He wrote on 27 March 1946 to the Home Office, Aliens Department, in London, that he wished to marry, as a civilian, a ‘young German girl’. He was due to be demobilised between 20 April and 17 May and intended to ‘seek immediate permission to return to Germany for the purpose of marrying the girl and returning with her to England’. He asked to be notified of the correct procedure to be adopted, adding that parental consent had been given for the marriage. If possible, he wished to arrange the marriage before his departure to England.

Around the same time, at the end of March, he applied to join the civilian Control Commission for Germany (CCG).

Ralph’s application was successful. He started work with the CCG and returned to Germany in July 1946, stationed initially in Brunswick and then at Goslar. On 22 July he wrote to the CCG Welfare Office in Lübbecke, a small town in Westphalia, stating that he was submitting his application ‘to marry a German girl’, adding that he had originally applied on 18 March 1946 while serving as a Sergeant in the Royal Corps of Signals, and the matter was not passed to higher authority then as ‘it was considered that there would be no possibility … of approval being given.’

He now asked if permission could be given at an early date, as he had returned to Germany as a civilian. If this was not possible, he asked if he could escort his intended bride home while on leave ‘where a home awaits her, where her arrival is eagerly awaited and her presence amongst my family would be that of genuine welcome’. He would then return to his job in Germany until a change of policy allowed German wives of Control Commission personnel to live in Germany.

Ralph received a reply dated 6 August 1946 from the CCG Civil Establishment Office refusing his request to marry, on the grounds that: ‘the position stated in C.E.O. Circular no. 36L of 14.12.1945 remains unaltered, and consent to marriage between civilian personnel of the Commission and Germans is in all cases refused.’

This reply is surprising as only a few days earlier, on 31 July 1946, the government had officially announced in London that the marriage ban would be relaxed. Presumably the news had not yet reached the British officials in Germany.

Despite not having received official permission, Ralph and Ursula decided to go ahead anyway, and were married in a church ceremony in the St Johannes Church in Brunswick on 20 August 1946.

But that was not the end of the story.

Ralph almost certainly did not know that when he and Ursula were married in church on 20 August, in Germany, unlike England, church marriages were only legally binding if they were confirmed at a government registry office (Standesamt). This had implications in Britain as well. According to British law, properly conducted marriages in foreign countries were accepted and recognised. But if a church marriage was not legally binding in Germany, it was not legally binding in Britain.

The documents in the files show that between the end of August 1946, after he was married in church, and May 1947, when the registry office marriage finally took place, Ralph desperately tried to find out what was the correct procedure, obtain the required documents, and meet the various conditions to be fulfilled, before he and Ursula were eventually married in full accordance with German and British law.

The church marriage was reported in the newspaper, the Daily Mirror, with a photo of Ralph under the headline: ‘Civilian defies ban – weds German sweetheart, 17.’ The text of the article ran: ‘Defying the Control Commission ban on marriages between its employees and German girls, Ralph Peck, 26, ex-sergeant, of Wivenhoe (Essex) has married a German girl of 17 in Brunswick. Forty guests including members of the Control Commission attended the reception. Mr Peck hopes that when the authorities officially find out about his wedding, they will lift the ban for everyone.’

It is interesting that according to the article, ‘members of the Control Commission’ attended the wedding and seem to have had no objections to it, despite the wedding taking place without official permission. But it is not known who were the guests at the reception, or how the Daily Mirror heard about the wedding.

On 4 September 1946 Ralph wrote to the London office of the Control Commission asking to be advised of the ‘correct procedure to be followed, in respect of marriages taking place between Control Commission personnel and German subjects, adding that ‘I have been unable to obtain any definite instructions of the correct procedure to follow regarding this matter, although I understand, notification as far as military personnel are concerned, has already been issued by army authorities.’

This suggests that by now, Ralph probably knew that the government in London had decided to relax the marriage ban. On 31 July 1946, a government spokesman had made a statement in the House of Lords that ‘local military Commanders should be authorised to relax the present ban on marriage between British servicemen and alien women … in cases where the reasons for marriage are good and there is no security objection.’

But although the decision in principle had been taken to end the marriage ban, it took many months until it was implemented in practice by the various military and Control Commission units in Germany. Ralph received a reply to his letter of 4 September from the Director of Organisation, Zonal Executive Offices in Lübbecke, dated 18 September, stating that marriages were not yet possible but the situation was ‘under active consideration’ and a general announcement would be made as soon as a decision had been made.

Ursula was now pregnant, and their daughter, Sylvia Lilian Gabriele was born on 22 November 1946.

Ralph may have first become aware that his German church marriage was not legally binding when he attempted to register his daughter’s birth.

He wrote on 17 December 1946 to the Civil Establishment Office for the CCG in Lübbecke and to the Passport Control Office in Berlin, asking for permission to ‘sign the Register’ at the Standesamt in Goslar in order to ‘complete my marriage’ adding that: ‘At present I am unable to obtain a “proper” birth certificate for my child and I have signed a certificate to the effect that ‘I am the father of my child’ pending authority requested above.’ He continued: ‘I wondered whether I could overcome the terrible strain and worry, which I have undergone for some very considerable time’.

He received a reply stating that conditions were still being formulated and he should wait until a general announcement was made.

On 1 February 1947, he wrote in desperation to his MP, Sir Stanley Holmes, asking for help. In the letter, he wrote that shortly after arriving in Germany, he ‘met and fell in love with a German girl’. He had applied to marry on 18 March 1946 but this was rejected on the grounds that the girl lived in Germany during the war. After enclosing details of further letters and copies of official instructions he added that: ‘So far [despite] all my repeated attempts to complete my marriage and return with my young wife and daughter to the UK, I remain where I commenced with my endeavours several months ago … You will fully imagine how difficult my present position is and, if it was not for the kindness shown to us by the wives of other English officials over here, I have grave doubts how I could have kept my wife and child sailing through these last damnable months.’

He received a reply on 8 February from Sir Stanley Holmes’ agent, saying that the MP was ‘abroad on an important business mission in connection with the export drive’ but the issue was being investigated and he would write to him again. It is not known if Ralph received a further reply, as there is no more correspondence from the MP in the archive.

The procedure to be followed by Control Commission staff wishing to marry German women was officially confirmed by Ralph’s military government unit in Germany in March 1947.

A daily routine order was issued by HQ R.B. Brunswick, on 28 March 1947, stating that marriages between ‘British subjects and persons of enemy or ex-enemy nationality or birth’ were now possible, adding that CCG employees who married without permission would be obliged to resign or be liable to dismissal from the CCG. The order continued by outlining the procedure that staff should follow if they wished to marry Germans and ‘retain their appointments in C.C.G.’ as follows:

• Approval would not be given until six months after the date of the first application. After completing the required procedure, marriages could take place in a German registry office and ‘this marriage will be valid under German and U.K. laws’.
• Applicants had to apply on form B.A.O.R. 120 for permission from their chief of division, supported by certificate of good character of the prospective bride, signed by the local German Bürgermeister (mayor) together with a certificate from a local Minister of Religion and two copies of the ‘Fragebogen’ (a questionnaire used to identify those who had been members of or had supported the Nazi Party).
• Once official approval had been given by the British commander, an application had to be made to a senior German legal official, the ‘Oberlandsgerichtspräsident’, for a certificate that the British man was eligible to marry. (This was a requirement of German, rather than British law). The certificate should then be forwarded to the HQ of the appropriate British military government region.
• Applicants might then be requested to attend in person before the British Consul General in Hamburg to complete the formalities of the Foreign Marriages Act 1906, (to confirm that the marriage was valid under British law). 
• Once married, the couple had to live in officially requisitioned accommodation, which would be made available under the same conditions as for British families. Under existing rules, they were not permitted to live with the wife’s family or in other German accommodation, although this was being reviewed.
• After taking up married quarters the wife would be treated in exactly the same way as a British-born wife, as regards entitlement to rations, travel etc.
• No exception to the conditions would be made ‘on account of pregnancy or when a form of marriage has already taken place’.
• Applications made previously should be made again, following the above procedures, but would be deemed to have been submitted at the date of the original application or 10 September 1946, (six months before the date of this order outlining the procedure) whichever was the later.

Ralph and Ursula were finally legally married two months later in a German registry office (Standesamt), on 21 May 1947, after he had obtained permission from a senior commanding officer, and had submitted certificates of health and good character for Ursula, signed by the Bürgermeister (mayor) and a minister of religion, a certificate of good health and freedom from disease signed by a doctor, together with four copies of a Fragebogen completed and submitted for security clearance.  The file is full of letters, memos, and certificates that had to be provided before the wedding could take place, as Ralph tried to work out the best way to ‘complete’ his marriage as quickly as possible and meet the various requirements outlined above.

Unfortunately, this story does not have a happy ending.

Their little girl, Sylvia Lilian Gabriele, lived for less than one year. She died in the children’s hospital in Bad Harzburg, near Goslar, on 30 June 1947, less than six weeks after they were legally married.

Ralph resigned from the Control Commission after a year’s service and his appointment was terminated on 19 July 1947.

He and Ursula travelled together to England and lived with his parents in Essex. Their first son, Clive, was born in April 1948 and a daughter two years later.

Ralph was not happy back in Britain. He joined the New Zealand air force, and Ursula joined him with their two children in New Zealand in 1952. But after arriving, Ursula fell ill with TB and could no longer look after the children. The marriage split up. Ralph returned to England with custody of the children. He remarried and died in 1997. Ursula remained in New Zealand.

On a happier note, nearly seventy years later (in December 2016 when the documents were donated to the Imperial War Museum) Ralph and Ursula’s son Clive was still in touch with his mother in New Zealand and with his father’s family.

 

References

R.G. Peck papers, Imperial War Museum documents, reference 26388.

Some of the most significant documents in the collection are listed below in chronological order:

• 2 January 1946. Typed letter to ‘Herr und Frau Ottow’, signed ‘Ralph’, asking for their consent to the marriage.
• 22 January 1946. Handwritten reply addressed to ‘Sehr geehrter Peck’, signed A. Ottow.
• 5 February 1946. Handwritten engagement card.
• 18 March 1946. Memo from Lt. Col. G.E. Aldridge, to AQ branch, HQ 5 Inf Div. stating that Sgt Peck had applied to marry a ‘German subject’. He had also applied for an appointment with the Control Commission and would like his wife to remain with him in Germany. He was due to be released from the army between 20 April and 17 May.
• 23 March 1946. Memo from Lt. Col. AA & QGM, HQ 5 Inf Div, refusing Ralph’s request for permission to marry.
• 27 March 1946. Letter from Sgt. Peck to The Secretary, Home Office, (Aliens Dept), London.
• 22 July 1946. Letter to CCG Welfare Office Lübbecke, from W/O Mr. R. G. Peck, Legal Branch, 120 Mil Gov, B.A.O.R.
• 6 August 1946. Letter to R G Peck, Legal Branch, 120 Mil Gov, from N. N. Ferguson, Civil Establishment Office, Zonal Executive office, CCG Lübbecke, refusing his request for permission to marry.
• 20 August 1946. ‘Trauschein’. Certificate of marriage in a church ceremony, in St Johannes Church in Brunswick.
• 4 September 1946. Letter from R.G. Peck to the Control Commission, London office, asking to be advised of the correct procedure to be adopted with regard to his marriage.
• 18 September 1946. Reply from the ‘Director of Organisation’ for the Control Commission in Lübbecke, Germany, stating that marriages were not yet possible but the situation was ‘under active consideration’.
• 25 September 1946. Article published in the Daily Mirror under the headline ‘Civilian defies ban – weds German sweetheart, 17’.
• 17 October 1946. A letter from Mr R.G. Peck to the Passport Office in London, stating that he had married a ‘young German girl’ on 20 August 1946, giving his passport number and asking to ‘be advised [of] the procedure to now be adopted.’
• 21 October 1946. A letter from Mr R.G. Peck to the Passport Control Office in Lübbecke, Germany, saying he wished to arrange travel for his wife, ‘a young German girl’, from Germany to England as he was due to go to the UK on leave the following month and would like her to accompany him.’
• 25 October 1946. A letter to Mr Ralph Peck from the Passport Office acknowledging receipt of his letter of 17 October (above) and informing him that the London office could not grant passports to British subjects who were not resident in the UK. If he wished to obtain a passport for his wife, he should contact the British consul general in Lübbecke, Germany.
• A further undated letter from Mr R.G. Peck to the Passport Control Office in Lübbecke referring to his letter of 21 October (above) adding that ‘Unfortunately, I must ask that his matter please be left in abeyance until such time as I receive permission to sign the Register at the Registry Office. At the present time, although having been through a Church Ceremony, my marriage in NOT as yet legal’. He understood that permission would be received within the next few days.
• 26 November 1946. The birth certificate of Ralph and Ursula’s daughter, Sylvia Lilian Gabriele, stating that, on oral information received, the father was the ‘British Government Official, Ralph Guy Peck’, born on 5 November 1919 in London. He had confirmed his identity by showing his identity card and confirmed that he was the father.
• 26 November 1946. A letter from Ralph Peck to the Passport Office in Lübbecke referring to his letter of 21 October (above), saying that he had not as yet been able to obtain the necessary permission to marry in accordance with German law but understood that arrangements were available for prospective brides to travel to the UK provided a marriage ceremony could be performed within a ‘stated period’ and asking to be advised of the necessary procedure.
• 4 December 1946. A letter from Charles Smith MP to Mr R.G. Peck advising him that he had received his letter of 22 November (not in file) but Wivenhoe did not fall within his constituency of Colchester and he should write to the member for Harwich, Sir Stanley Holmes.
• 7 December 1946. A letter from the ‘Passport Control Officer for Germany’ in Berlin to Mr R.G. Peck referring to a telephone conversation and advising him that if he was getting married in Germany, his wife would be a British subject and would not require a visa to travel to England. On the other hand, if she wished to proceed to England before she was married, he was unable to grant her a visa unless Ralph was resident in the United Kingdom and they were going to marry within two months of her arrival. He concluded ‘It is unlikely, therefore, that I can be of any assistance to you.’
• 23 December 1946. A letter from N.N. Ferguson, for the Director of Organisation, Zonal Executive Offices, CCG in Lübbecke, to Mr R.G. Peck, advising him that in connection with his application of 4 September 1946 requesting permission to marry a German national (see above), in addition to obtaining permission from CCG he should also apply to the local German ‘Oberlandsgerichtspräsident’ (a senior legal official) ‘for dispensation from production of a certificate of eligibility to marry.’ He was told he should apply for this as soon as possible as ‘further delay to your marriage may otherwise be incurred when the general conditions governing the marriage of CCG personnel to Germans [are] announced.’
• 30 December 1946. A further letter from N.N. Ferguson for Director of Organisation, referring to the letter from Ralph of 17 December (see above) stating that conditions for CCG staff wishing to marry a German national were ‘at present being formulated’ and ‘as soon as certain legal points have been settled, a general announcement will be made.’
• 30 December 1946. A letter from Paul J. Heyne, ‘interpreter at Townhall’ in Brunswick to Ralph Peck, saying he had tried to speak to the inspector at the Oberlandsgericht but was unable to do so, as he was not in his office because there was no heating due to the shortage of coal. He would try again on 2 January.
• 2 January 1947. A further letter from Paul Heyne to Ralph Peck stating that he had called in person to see the inspector, Herr Fay, at the Oberlandsgericht, adding that: ‘He showed me all the papers concerning your case. As early as 13 August 1946, [before the church ceremony on 20 August] … they had sent the application to Mil Gov Legal Branch Hannover region. Up to this morning the papers were not returned to Oberlandsgericht though many others have come back duly consented to.’
• 4 January 1947. A letter from the Regional Personnel Officer for CCG, Lower Saxony to Mr R.G. Peck copied to the Rev G.A. Hyde, stating that he had been asked by the Rev Hyde to reply to Ralph’s letter of 17 December (see above). He had been in touch with [the zonal administrative offices in Lübbecke to try to find out about the ‘new instructions relating to marriage’, and had been told that the instructions were ‘in the course of preparation and consideration by Legal Division and will be forwarded in a few weeks.’
• 20 February 1947. A letter from Ralph to Ursula, written as if sent from his home address, stating that ‘I have to advise you the following: I am free and willing to re-marry you within two months of your arrival in England. I have the necessary accommodation in England for you and baby and I am well in the position to maintain you both. All my love, your affectionate husband…’
• 27 February 1947. A letter signed by Ursula to the Passport Control Office in Berlin, notifying them that she had a letter signed by her husband, that he was willing and free to ‘re-marry’ her within two months of her arrival in England. She also stated in the letter that they were ‘originally married on the 20th August 1946 in St. Johannes Church Brunswick’ and asking for assistance for her and her baby Sylvia, born on 22 November 1946, to travel to her husband’s home ‘where accommodation and means of maintenance are available.’
• 1 March 1947. A completed copy of Ursula’s ‘Fragebogen’ (de-nazification questionnaire).
• 4 March 1947. Letter from W.A. Manders of the police in Brunswick to the Passport Control Office in Berlin, forwarding various documents, providing details of Mrs Peck’s (i.e. Ursula’s) British Zone identity card and asking for help arranging an exit permit for her.
• 8 April 1947. Letter from R.G. Peck to the Rev. G.A. Hyde, HQ Mil. Gov. Hannover Region, saying that Legal Branch had handed over his marriage documents. He took them to the ‘Oberlandsgerichtspresident’ who told him all was in order and he would send the certificate ‘for dispensation from production of a certificate of eligibility to marry’ to Legal Branch. However, the Standesamt in Goslar had ‘received no notification whatever that marriages between C.C.G. and Germans can take place’ and Ralph asked Rev Hyde if he had now complied with all ‘instructions issued’.
• 10 April 1947. Memo from Ralph’s commanding officer, signed ‘Lieut. Colonel RA’, Commander of 214 Kreis Group HQ, Goslar, confirming that he had ‘no objection to the marriage of Mr. R.G. Peck taking place immediately’. The letter continued that as an application to marry was first made on 22 July 1946, ‘it would appear that Mr Peck has been eligible to marry since 10th March 1947.
• 12 May 1947. Certificate of character by a Minister of Religion for ‘Miss Ursula Luise Ottow’ confirming she was ‘of excellent character and I can observe no objection whatsoever to her marriage with Mr R.G. Peck.’
• 13 May 1947. Certified copy, in English and German, of a certificate of good character for ‘Miss Ursula Luise Ottow’ originally issued in October 1946 by the Bürgermeister of Oschersleben.
• 13 May 1947. Certificate of security clearance for ‘Miss Ursula Luise Ottow’ signed by the British ‘Area Intelligence office’ confirming that ‘there are no security reasons why she should not be married to Mr R.G. Peck.’
• Certificate of health for ‘Mrs Ursula Luise Peck, nee Ottow’ signed by a doctor in Hahnenklee (near Goslar), in English and German, confirming she was ‘free from venereal disease and tuberculosis.’
• 16 May 1947. Formal marriage application, BAOR Form 120, signed by Ralph and Ursula on 1 April 1947, authorised by Brigadier Lingham, Deputy Regional Commissioner for ‘Land Niedersachsen’ (Lower Saxony) on 16 May 1947.
• 21 May 1947. Official marriage certificate, issued by the registry office (Standesamt) in Goslar.
• 6 June 1947. Memo from R.G. Peck to the British Consulate General in Hamburg requesting an emergency exit permit for himself, his wife and child to travel to Britain.